Toronto looks better than Montreal (!)

This week, much to my dread I had to travel for work. They sent me to one of the cities I get up at night to detest; Toronto.

Toronto is the cradle of the evil Maple Leafs.

It is also where all the douchebags I used to work for three years ago live and thrive.

Is anyone surprised to hear that I didn't want to go? Much less by plane.

I don't fly. At least I don't fly well. It's a bone-mass thing. I can float but I can't fly properly besides, if God had meant for me to fly, he would've stuck a rocket up my ass.

I decided to take the train, it's about the same price and all things considered is quite a bit more relaxing than flying, it also takes about the same time to go from Montreal to Toronto by train than by plane.

You must be at the gates to check in two hours before your plane takes off, you're not allowed any metallic objects larger than a penny and you have to check any luggage larger than an iPod Nano. As a bonus they anally probe you before you get on the plane, sometimes even searching YOUR SHOES, then when you get off the plane you have to go through the tedious process of recovering your luggage, and sometimes, it's not even there!

So it takes five hours to go by train, but you can show up at the station with your ticket 15 minutes in advance and you'll get on, luggage and all, then getting off the train is simply a matter of stepping down a half-dozen steps. So five hours are actually five hours and I got to keep my shoes.

By plane, the one single hour has always turned into at least four for me.

At any rate, the actual journey by train was very pleasant both ways, I was slightly worried upon leaving Dorval because a bus of school-children going on a school trip to the CN tower showed up before the train left and I didn't want to join their exclamatives.

Mercifully they had reserved a whole (and different) wagon so I spent most of the trip on a seat much larger and more confortable than the ones on the planes (coach) and with noone sitting next to me I almost got to sleep !

I spent both trips back and forth watching episodes of Frasier on an EEEPC with the occasional break, I also listened to the new Franz Ferdinand CD which I also seem to enjoy way too much for dance music.

On the way back I was sitting next to a charmingly cheerful young girl from Halifax who was heading back home after a month in Toronto. She spent most of the trip back sleeping or singing softly along with her MP3 player.

She wasn't very good looking, in fact I wouldn't have given her the time of day under other circumstances. She did have her charm though, slightly pudgy and definitely anglo-Canadian. She also spent some time on the phone with someone named "baby" and she said it with a sultry, very attractive voice, something I've grown used to not hearing.

Not that my wife has an entirely screechy voice, only when she wants she can sound like grinding teeth. She seems to want to sound like that quite often.

My dentist, who also happens to be my wife's dentist, recommended a toothguard for that.

But I digress...

As for Toronto itself I had a decent enough stay, my first impression was one of cleanliness, there are much less people than in Montreal and the roads and sidewalks, at least the ones I walked, were immaculate and everyone I met was polite. I only saw one peddler compared to the dozens I cross by everyday from home to work in Montreal. The peddler was very polite and very distinctivly asked me for money, it was a welcome change from the Montreal peddlers that sound unintelligible at best.

Only I could review the peddlers in Toronto and compare them to the ones in Montreal.

I stayed at a very nice upscale hotel (thank you hotwire.com) for considerably cheaper than normal and the room and service were impeccable, I only found that the glasses and cups in the room were not quite washed properly much in the way that they, er, weren't clean.

Dinner at the hotel restaurant proved expensive, but the food was delicious and the portions were plenty for a thinner guy like me. I had the best tenderloin steak tips ever, surrounded by two types of mushrooms and some mashed potato swirls that were containing something delectable I had never had before; Truffle oil.

Truffle oil has a delicate flavor to it, somewhat remingniscent of olive oil but less "nosey". It was also to be found in the sweet pea dipping sauce served with the bread before the main meal.

The 12$ salad was appallingly expensive, for 12$ I was expecting a BONSAI salad, instead I was served a normal mixed greens salad in a bedding of cucumber and tomato. It was very very good but definitely not worth 12$.

The 32$ tenderloin steak tips on the other hand were definitely worth every penny.

I also had some beer. (for the record)

Not much but enough for me to want to get up to my room after dinner, take a shower and go straight to bed.

In the morning I was rudely awaken by some construction workers outside the window of the "upgraded" room I was offered for "free" by the front desk when I arrived late the night before. It was pitch black outside that same window and I had no way of knowing that it was going to turn into Alexandria, circa 4000BC, just as the slave workers were intent on putting the finishing touches on the pyramids.



The view from my hotel room window at 6AM. I shot this then got my earplugs in my ears but couldn't get back to sleep.

Actually I had a great time and my original hesitations about going were completely overwhelmed by the people and cleanliness of Toronto.

Kudos and well done Toronto, Montrealers would have a great deal to learn from you.