Top 10 sci-fi "B" movies you must see.

I've decided to make a top 10 list of my own. This list contains the top 10 sci-fi "b" movies that in my opinion should be seen if you haven't already. None of them are mainstream.

All of them will be worth watching if you can find them.

10-Slither (2006).


Starring Nathan Fillion this movie has been on my "a" list for "b" movies since it came out. I missed it at the theatre but I own a DVD copy and have it installed permanently on my Archos portable tablet. It's a must see "b" movie that has some minor horror undertones. Still I qualify it, it IS my list.

9- Split Second (1992).

This movie stars the actor who is the uncontested all-time best "b" movie actor: Rutg er Hauer. It also features as a bonus a young and hot (very) Kim Cattral. The story is interesting and the effects are somewhat laughable at times. Most of the interesting action is in the dark which for a "b" movie really means "Perfectly visible but slightly blue".

Nevertheless it was a blast to watch. Also this movie has become quite rare so when you find that 5$ copy at a flea market, take it. Amazon sells it for 80$!

8- Omega Doom (1996).



You know you have a decent "b" movie when the box says "Robots rule the earth. Only one man can stop them.".

Also that one man is Rutger Hauer. I think there is nothing to add except that the only reason this isn't higher on the list is that it's virtually unfindable. Also because there is a limit to how cheesy the costumes can get. However, as far as I can tell, this 15 year old movie, is the first one to show the future of douchebags: "Bluetooth earpieces".

7- The Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983).


The first time I saw this movie I was 13, in high school English class (in Quebec our schools are mostly French so we learn English as a second language), and it terrified me. After I saw it again I realised that this is not really a horror movie, it's not even a movie, it's three movies.

Also it has John Lithgow and Dan Aykroyd in there for good measure.

The best scene is on the plane. By far and large.

6- Mars Attacks (1996).


Where do I start? Great special effects for a "b" movie, also considering it's 1996. The cast is incredible, Nickolson, DeVito, Close, Bening, Short, did I mention Nickolson plays three freaking roles?

The plot is simple: Mars Attacks. From Mars. The planet. Any more questions? Good now go watch this movie.

5-Red Planet (2000)



While we're on the subject of Mars...This movie has everything, romance, humour, robots and a crazy plot where the hero blasts off into Mars orbit, using what is basically a modified lawn-chair with a Soviet Russian rocket in his behind. That is done in the true spirit of "b" movie plots.

Also Carrie-Ann Moss is in there.

4-Star Wars (1977).


Face it, in 1977 when it was released, before all the "Star Wars Fever" ensued, before it was made into a hexalogy, before it was remastered with CGI and had all its puppets removed.

Before the soundtrack and audio was remastered in stereo, then in Dolby Digital, then in Dolby Digital HD, then in Supreme Dolby Digital Hi-Bitrate for mental patients...

Before they retouched the posters, re-released it in fourteen different boxsets, before the Bubba Fet helmet boxset, before George Lucas became a complete douchebag...

Star Wars, the original untouched version is a "b" movie. Learn to deal with it.

3-Stargate (1994).


The thing about Stargate is that in 1994 there weren't any of the 12 spinoff TV series that it bestowed on us. The movie was a pretty good "b" movie with some decent "b" movie actors like Kurt Russell and James Spader. Spader was later mothballed and taken back out for Boston Legal, thus making this his definitive last "hit" movie. Russell went on to make the following "b" movie on this list.

2- Soldier (1997).

This movie was one (among many) to have the classic plot of a man turning against his team, a plot later followed by Avatar that went on to gross more money than what has been printed in history. Also Dances with Wolves comes to mind.

Nevertheless this is an excellent movie that I recommend for those that, like me, are stuck on an uncomfortable train/metro/bus seat for 2-3 hours/day in their daily commute to and from work. It plays great on an Archos/iPod/untraportable laptop.

1-Serenity (2005).



It would be difficult not to put Serenity as the best "b" movie of all time, it has everything, sex, humour, action, space battles, pirates, zombies, zombie dogs, skeletons, swords, a hooker, gambling and explosions. All of that and we haven't even talked about the plot, the actors, their chemistry, the hot costumes, the accents they use...

Also it's Nathan Fillion's second entry on this list, is he this generation's Rutger Hauer? Time will tell. What are you up to Nathan?

If you've not seen it, go rent it now. Watch it tonight. You can't afford the chance that the Mayans were wrong and by 2012, they really meant tomorrow.

How the bus ride this Monday morning ruined my week so far.

I'm now over it but this is what happened on the bus ride from my stop to the train this last Monday morning.

I get up, as usual it's 5:05AM, a bit groggier than usual because I had late evenings since Thursday night and early mornings Saturday (Hockey practice @ 9AM, up at 7) and Sunday (Hockey game @8AM, up at 6) so Sunday night I tried to go to bed early but failed for several reasons.

Wound up sleeping 4.5 hours between Sunday and Monday bringing my total sleep since Thursday to Monday inclusively to a whopping 15.5 hours.

I get on the bus at 6:48AM, wearing my sunglasses, not shaved, still groggy even though I had a coffee and breakfast.

The bus is a mini-bus with about 20 seats arranged on either side so that the people sitting on them are face to face in two rows, there is a final row of seats against the back wall of the bus.

I sit on the second seat on the left when I enter the bus. Across from me at a slight askew is sitting a lady that I chat with occasionally on the bus, she is in her fifties, brown short hair, pudgy nose, big brown eyes with seemingly too much make up.

She is wearing the same brown coat she wore all winter along with a pair of gloves she found in the metro.

To her right is a Facebook friend of mine, I met him on the bus and we chatted on the train a few times in the morning, he also works in IT and we usually will chat about video games, hockey, the odd kids story.

To my left sits a teenage girl, clearly a CEGEP student she is about 18~19 years old, brown long hair, pretty face if slightly on the heavy side she is very doable.

Right away I notice something is off, normally the older lady and my Facebook friend are already chatting away when I enter the bus. This morning they are completely quiet, my Facebook buddy has a worried look on his face.

At another stop a few minutes from mine enters an Asian woman in her thirties, she never speaks and even when she boards the bus in the evening with her spouse, a Caucasian man in his late forties, she never speaks with him. She is short with big thighs and legs. Her hair is black and straight like a classic Asian. She has a red purse and is listening to some music on some earphones.

As usual she goes right at the back of the bus and sits by a window on the rear seat.

I'm sitting there, slight headache, putting away my opus crap card when all of a sudden the lady in front of me starts gagging like she's about to throw up.

Immediately I look up at her, and start looking for a container, there is a garbage in the front of the bus next to the door, I start to get up and at the same time she throws up, emptying her stomach right on the floor between her and the teenage student to my left.

The bus is turning a corner as this happens and I'm thrown backwards back onto the first seat. I grab the handrail and use it as a hold to allow me to stand and finally I start reaching for the garbage can, it is small and white with a white plastic bag in it, it's otherwise empty. As I pick up the can the lady begins a second wave of barf-o-rama. By now the student is trying really hard not to look at her, I'm also trying to avoid but once you see it, it's hard to unsee it.

I place the garbage can on the floor in front of the lady and look for some tissue paper, the student sees me looking around and points out a box on top of the driver's mirror. I ask the driver if I can hand it to the lady and he acquiesces. I am about to hand her the Kleenex box just as she starts a third and final wave of barf-o-rama this time through her nose.

She starts bleeding from the nose. Hard. So I give her the box and instruct her to blow her nose gently to remove the residual vomit from it, and then keep her head up and back.

By now we are all standing in a pool of brown vomit with pieces of what seems like toast in it. The smell of bile and coffee is not pleasant but bearable, partly because it's cold and partly because of the adrenaline.

A few moments later we get to the train station, the lady is sitting there looking sorry and she keeps apologising, I reassure her that it's not going to be held against her and we all make sure she can make it back home with the same bus. She assures us that she will be fine and we head to the train.

That same evening as I boarded the bus I asked our bus driver how it went and he told me that he dropped her off in front of her house in the morning. He had to hose down the inside of the bus then give it to their maintenance crew for them to sanitise it.

It smelled like vanilla!